wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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