youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
