you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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