I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
