Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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