thus making me awesome and them whores
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
whose parrot is this?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
