fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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