so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
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I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
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The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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