I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
