Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
