So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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