He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
