new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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