Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
