Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
