How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
