He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
