I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i will never coherently bang her
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Randomize
