Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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