Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
