Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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