She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
