last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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