We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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