dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize