Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
