She announced her abortion via fbk
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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