Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
