So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sext me about skeletons
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize