Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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