There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
