I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
