thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
