Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
