North Korea, Best Korea!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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