I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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