This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
