Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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