No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
