he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
