just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Randomize
