this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
