Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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