Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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