Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize