do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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