Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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