Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize