Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
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