Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
