remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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