I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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