She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Can you bring me the toilet please
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
