I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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