She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The adults are the big ones right?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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