Please, let me fuck your mom
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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