Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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