youre lurking in front of me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
