its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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