is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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