Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
